Fuck the police

I just spent week in county, and it's all because of my co-worker, that junkie Kelvin.

The other night when I was closing Subway, Kelvin came in the back room just as I was squeezing the pus out of a blister on my big toe into the mustard bottles. I don't even know why he was there, it wasn't like he was on the schedule.

Despite the fact that this diseased druggie fleabag doesn't mind injecting all kinds of shit into his veins, he gets all self righteous with me. He tells me to wash out all the mustard containers, and that if he ever catches me fucking with the food again, he'll tell the manager and have me fired.

Now, I could just as easily turn around and tell her about how he shoots up in the bathroom, so I wasn't all that afraid. Still, I figured I should be cautious, so I refrained from ejaculating into the mayonaisse or peeing on the pickle slices.

Now, I get a fair amount of jerking off done at work because I like to spread my "seed" to the food. Since I haven't been able to do it at work the last few nights, I've been feeling very backed up.

So after I finish closing the place, I'm feeling extremely horny. I've been working at Subway for quite a few weeks, and I had about twenty dollars left over after buying groceries, so I decided to get go pick up a crack ho.

I drive up and down the 'ho strip for about half an hour. I luck out and find one that's actually white. She's missing a bunch of teeth, wearing some really filthy acid wash jeans, and has her gut hanging over her halter top, lined with purple stretch marks. But fuck it, you get what you pay for. She said she'll take twenty bucks for head.

So I drive until I find a length of the street that's pretty uninhabited. She's pulls out her grape bubble gum and starts going to town on my schlong. I am a fucking tree right now, having not jerked off in six hours. I need to get blown by more toothless bitches, because her gum action was actually really hot. I had to roll down the window to get some air.

I was about to blow a geyser of man-aise into this bitches mouth, when suddenly there was a light shining into my car. Oh fuck, it's the police.

"Stop what you're doing and get out of the car," the pig said. He was right by the drivers side of my car. The crack ho (I didn't catch her name) stopped sucking my dick and started crying.

That was right when I started to nut. I shot out so hard it ended up hitting the cop in the eye.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" he screams, and as soon as he wipes my cum out of his eyes and pulls his Glock out, he's pulling me out of the car, throwing me on the ground with my pants down, shoves his knee in my back, and cuffs me. I think he overreacted.

So I get charged with assaulting a police officer and thrown in jail. Eventually that fucking whore I call a mother bailed me out. Good, because all the wetbacks and spearchuckers really stink up the cells.